20 Ways to piss off our Favorite Anime Characters!
by Eruza Panda
Summary: Includes OC's and characters from Death Note, Kuroshitsuji, Ao no exorcist, Meru Puri, and many more soon to come. *Warning: Includes pure crack and random!  & This was just for fun, we don't really wish such cruelty on these characters... Or do we? ;D
1. VICTIM1: Light Yagami

_This warning will be in every chapter 'cause it's too long to fit on the summary. deal with it. (although THAT. Will only be on the first one. Because. We can.)_

**Warning: **This is pure crack and random. So if you can't take randomosity seriously, then please go see your family doctor. Some(most?) of our words aren't words, and our grammar can (will) be sloppy are your gramma (kidding... sorta). And if you have any problems with this fanfiction, talk to the foot 'cause the hand doesn't care.

**Disclaimer:** We don't own any of the shizzle we reference from and probably wouldn't want to unless we want to be mauled by chimaeras, dragons, rabbits and the likes.

* * *

><p>Eruza's POV. 'Cause it can be. :P<p>

Our first Guinea Pi—I mean, specimi- I mean… umm… yeah. Specimen. Is…. The one and retardedly, Light I-Ma-Ga—I mean. Light Yagami! Welcome and we hope you have a miserable time. ^_^

"What is this… GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACEEEEEE!" DDDl. That was Light. There are rainbows coming out of his ears…

"... I'll make blood come out of every hole in your body!" :DDDD ... That. was Kairii. She's high today. ... And yesterday. And the day before that... -

"SHUUUDUP ALREADY. YOU KNOW WHAT. IF YOUR GOING TO GET ON WITH THIS. GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY." ... Light as you can see. Has lost it.

"Never had it ... "-_- And thank you Mika for pointing out the obvious.

I. Eruza. Am currently enjoying the magicalfully spectaculest spectacle of Light eshploding.

Basically, as said in the summary, we are now going to present (and preform) 20 horriblec, amazingful, magiciel and mind-shizzling things to our favorite(and therefore now eaten) characters.

**#1) Eat his Death Note.**

"NONONO WAIIT- ANTHING BUT-"

"Too late bro..." I look over at Light with a satisfied grin on my face, death notes are good dudes. Was that _foam_ coming out of his mouth...? DAAMN.

... he's crying now... :)

**#2) Tell his dad Light's gay.**

Mr. Yagami answers the door with a ticked off look on his face. Why? Well. It's three int he morning. Outside the door, is the one and only, Kairii.

Forgetting his manners due to the early hours and sleep deprivation Soichirou scowled, "Who the hell are you?"

Ignoring his question, more of a demand really, "Mr Yagami. Did you know your son's gay?"

"What the-" With a deer-in-head-lights look being swapped with a look of anger, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU-" but before he got to finish, Kairii slammed his _own door_ in his face... and ran for her life.

Back in the house, stunned and extremely annoyed, Soichirou raged,"LIGHTTTTT! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!"

Looking tired and equally pissed off (although he didn't show it in front of his own father)"What?"

Soichirou walked up to light so their noses were almost touching. "Are you gay?" he demanded with cold menace.

Looking stunned Light stepped back "wha-what..."

"ARE. YOU. GAY?"

"NO! Why- why are you even asking something like that...? AT THREE IN THE MORNING TO-"

Mrs Yagami and Sayu stands at the top of the stairs looking amused. I think Sayu is giggling.

"Those magazines you had... what were you trying to do? Trick me?"

"Wha-what?" Light's sweating now.

Sayu's giggling became louder "Told you those magazines would work...ehehe.. hehe..."

"YOU'RE DEAD TO ME." his father yelled as he looked as capable of eating a cow. MOO.

(that was a long roleplay... O.O)

**#3) Give him a hard core mohawk while he sleeps.**

**#4)Chain him to a chair and make (let?) a two year old give him a tattoo. :)**

**#5) Starve Light and put him in a cage with Mello and one chocolate bar.**

**#6) Distract him while he's writing a test and make him fail.**

Mika looked at light with a (many) evil gleam(s) in her eye(s). She starts poking him. HARD.

"... that looks fun" I join in. Then Kairii. And L. Mello. Matt. Matsuda... yes. even Matsuda.

**#7) Strap him to a chair and make him watch yu-gi-oh(they don't deserve capitals. :( ) reruns.**

"NOO.! I ALREADY WATCHED THESE EPISODES." TT^TT ... Yes this. Is your beloved murderer's response to this situation.

**#8) Stick him in a zoo cage with GRELL. ; u;**

**#9) Stick him in an alligator's mouth.**

**#10) Then the other end.**

"So ... vile..." Mika stared wided eyed at the spectacle.

"You know you love it."

**#11) Make Light spend an hour with us crackos.**

"THIS. IS TOO CRUELLL. MERCYYYY. I'M BEGGING YOU!" He's crying so much, we are now swimming. "KAY. L, I. AM. KIRA. NOWWW. KILL MEE!" :DD

"No can do bro." My rape face is impressive. Even Sebastian thinks so.

**#12) Make him eat Grell's left foot cooked by yours truely, Mika, Kairii, Orihime(Bleach), and Yuuki(V****ampire Knight).**

**#13) Somehow trick him to write his own name in the death note.**

"Hey, Light... How do you write your name...? HERE! USE THIS!" My face expressionless as I gave him a slip of paper that I had previously ripped out of the death note.

He starts writing. I'm overwhelmed with adrenaline.

"Here." His face dead-pan.

I start to grin. Then stopped dead. I turned away and speed walked the hell out of there.

"So how'd it go?" Kairii's poked and stabbed.

"No good. ... He spelled Light wrong."

**#14) Chuck him into Deadman Wonderland. (If you don't know what that is, then shame on you.)**

**#15)Make him sing his favorite song. In front of (OVERNINETHOUSAND) people.**

"Somewhere beyond happiness and sadness

I need to calculate

What creates my own madness

And I'm addicted to your punishment

And you're the master

And I am waiting for disaster

I feel irrational

So confrontational

To tell the truth I am

Getting away with murder-"

...

...

Dead silence.

Kaiiri comes out with the awkward turtles.

"Crap." Please excuse his fugly language.

Looking stern and holding handcuffs L approaches Light, "I'll take that as a confession."

**#16) Tell L he's Kira.**

**#17)Make him read Vampire Knight and Twilight and watch him slave over his law book(s) fo justice for Hino Matsuri. (for the record I couldn't care less about VK but Hino-sama is boss soo...:DD)**

**#18) Hide his hair spray. His wallet. And his shoes. Just 'cuz.**

**#19) Find some dude to beat him at tennis.**

**#20) Whenever (if-ever) the guy says thank you, your welcome etcetra. Ask him if he's (deathly?) ill. And again. And again. And again. And again.**

Well. Our work here is done. At my feet, are the ashes of the once was Light Yagami. Rest in pieces.


	2. Yukio Okumura

RAWWWRGGGH. Woow. Kay I know it's been a while since this has been updated ... And _would_ say something lame excuse like we were busy, or some shizzle like that; but. That would be lying. Let's just say supremely, contagious laziness and get on with our lives -_-

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO "lojeloce of namimori" FOR GIVING US OUR FIRST (and only, but oh well !) REVIEW AND TELLLING US TO 'UPDATE BITCH!'. We were on the floor at that one. ;)

**Warning: **This is pure crack and random. So if you can't take randomosity seriously, then please go see your family doctor. Some(most?) of our words aren't words, and our grammar can (will) be sloppy are your gramma (kidding... sorta). And if you have any problems with this fanfiction, talk to the foot 'cause the hand doesn't care.

**Disclaimer:** I like trains and I also like to Get Out Alive so we do not own any shizzle we talk about, reference from and any other shiz we forgot about. I'm half dead right now (I'm a ferret vampire !) so durr.

Again; it's Eruza's POV since my partners are lazy(er!) shizzles than me ... I don't even know how that's possible ... I still love you guys soo...

Our second victim ... is ... the one and trugly(troll ugly !); Yukio Okumura from the epicalityly awesome anime Ao no Exorcist !

Yukio looks at me like I'm the biggest moron in the world and pushes his galsses up like he's all boss.

Being more boss; Kairii goes over and slaps the moles out o him. Go Kairii !

Anyways, let's begin!~

**#1) Hide his "collection" of manga.**

I find his preference distrubing ... soo .:)

"NONONONO ... GAHHHH SHOUJO MANGA DIPRIVATIONNN. I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIEEEE"

This is fun to watch ... WOOAHH - WOOOOAHH. IS HE HAVING A SIEZURE ...? Sweet.

**#2) Take all his bullets. And feed them to Blackie.**

"Hey Blackie ... dinner !" I watched as Kairii calls out to the two tailed feline. She's so cute !

"HEY WAIT NO I NEED THOS-" Yukio began to protest then stop when he realized it was too late ...

"IT'S TOO LAA-AATEEE" Dear Gods. Here we go again ...

"Chill man. Be patient. you'll get them back... eventually."

**#3) Let Choji eat all his keys**

CHUG CHUG CHUG...

In the end, poor Choji died of over-eating ...

But... We'll bring him back... eventually... right?

**#4) Tell everyone he knows (maybe some that he doesn't know... just for shits and giggles) that he stopped being a exorcist.**

"THAT'S A LIEEEEE" Shiemi's glare runs over everyone in the room.

...

...

"It's a lie right?"

...

...

"RIGHTTT?"

**#5) Take all of his shoes. And eat one of each pair.**

"RIN! RIN! RINNNN! HOLY MOTHER- RINNNNNNN!" Yukio comes running (hopping) down the hallways of their dormetary like (Eien: Like? What the hell.? IS.) a madman.

**#6) Sick Blackie on him**

**#7) Let loose the fan girls.**

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAH~

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH~

... Well. There goes his right leg...- left one too. Is that an arm! OH SHIT. THEY GOT AN EYE.

In some secret crook and cranny Rin is "casually" L squatting filming the beautiful moment of truth. ... OK that didn't fit... at all... But let's just pretend it did kay? :D

**#8) Make all his paychecks and income counterfiet.**

**#9) Put him in a gased glass ball.**

Eien: Like a hamster? !

Well... MAYBE... Except for the gased thing... then. YEAH.

**#10) Have a blind dude colour code all his notes.**

_Whoa, that's a full rainbow all the way_

_Double rainbow, oh my God, double rainbow_

_It's a double rainbow all the way...damn_

_It's a double rainbow all the way...damn, oh my God_

_What does this mean? It's so bright, so vivid_

_Double rainbow, double rainbow, it's so intense (tense)_

_What does this mean? It's startin to even look like a triple rainbow_

_That's a whole rainbow, man, ahhhh!_

_Double rainbow all the way 'cross the sky_

_Yeah, Yeeeeaaaaah, so intense_

_Double rainbow all the way 'cross the sky_

_Wow, wow, oh my God, look at that rainbow_

I got lazy. So. It's just gunna be lyrics today kids :P

**#11) Replace everyone in his "life" with a monkey.**

/Note: Remember that monkey demon thing from first episode? :DD

Good times... Good times ...

**#12) Simutaneously step on Rin's and Blakie's tails and blame Yukio.**

**#13) Make an identical and intelligent robot version of that that goes around brutally (Like Hikaru and Kaoru !) rejecting every fan girl he has.**

**#14) Throw him out a window.**

**#15) Put him into Dog-Race (Deadman Wonderland ref.) at BEYOND EXTREME HOLY MAYONAISE difficulty with Kenpatchi Zaraki(Bleach), Aizen Sousuke(Bleach), Orochimaru(Naruto), Minatsuki Takami(Deadman Wonderland), Yachiru(Bleach), Hibana(Deadman Wonderland), Yunoki Azuma (La Corda D'oro), and Thron (Bad Moon Rising)**

**#16) Put him under a magnifying glass in the Saharas.**

"JUST GUNNA STAND THERE AND WATCH ME BURN."

"Yeah pretty much ..."

**#17) Make him meet Thron (From "Bad Moon Rising" By Sherrilyn Kenyon. If you have not read this yet. Go read it NOW. You're missing out.) and royally piss him off.**

*Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke*

Thorn looks agitated...

*Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke*

Now he's just pissed... He's trying to control it... COME ONE. JUST A LITTLE MOREEE.

*Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke**Poke*

"RAWRRRRRRRRR. DIEEEEE. YOU. FOUR. EYE. DART. BOARD." Thorn bellows while (successfully) violently emphasising each word with a painful blow to the gut.

**#18) Give him immortality and set him on fire. Repeatedly.**

**#19) Cut off all his moles.**

**#20) Make him eat them.**

"ewwww. eeewwwwwww. ewwww. EWWWW."

"Relax ... it's the last one. Man up."

Kairii is videotaping it in HD and Mika ... is. Digging a grave. Smart girl-

"" Yukio's face is currently a nice shade of purple ... I think he chokes on that last mole ...OHH. DAMMIT. IT'S IN THE AIR ...

"That better not get anywhere near me. ..." Mika's face looks deadlyer than hell's hell.

...

...

...

Mother of - ... It landed on Grell's face...

Well. Since this fanfiction is rates T ... We can't exactly explain what happens next... so ... see you.


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